AND THEN, WE LAUGHED

a Memoir of Hope & Healing

In 1953, when Delaine was not yet three, her dad accidentally backed over her four-year-old brother Billy with a grain truck.  Little did she realize that from that point on, she would try to live his life as well as her own.  Survivor's guilt gnawed at her for decades; she didn't feel that she had worth just being herself.  

Delaine was a thin, scrappy girl who found solace with her sisters and a friendship with her neighbor Kenny; she inherited him from her brother. The two climbed trees and buildings and got caught smoking by their older Gestapo sisters.  Life changed when Kenny started school and later moved to California and she was once again left behind. Fear of abandonment followed her throughout her life. 

Many more losses occurred. Even President Kennedy’s death was wrenching.  Delaine felt that nobody knew what was going on and she feared for our country. She was taught to believe in God, that Jesus died for our sins and believed that one day when she died she’d be in heaven with Billy; but meanwhile, life was a minefield with worries about what was going to happen next.   

She dabbled in drinking alcohol and at sixteen she was in trouble - the suicide of a close uncle triggered her need to drink even more - to numb the pain and try to forget.  It quickly turned on her and she began hating who she was.  Many times, she wished it had been her that died instead of her brother.

More traumas led to dangerous behaviors, to the point that her very life was at risk, all the time trying to cover up her fears with a smile while dying inside. 

On October 3, 1986, after years of struggling, she realized, with the help of her husband and a friend, that she was an alcoholic.  The next morning, she had a clear sensation of being cradled as a baby in the arms of her Heavenly Father. Meeting others with the same problem and same solution was a godsend that was a major turning point in her life.  

A child-like humor came back with a robustness that delighted her!  A magnificent hope and healing came from her new relationship with God, and being able to tell her story to others through writing and sharing this compelling book.  And as she points out, her life and her story are accompanied with laughter.  Always laughter. 

AND THEN, WE LAUGHED a Memoir of Hope & Healing was published by Xulon Press in November 2018. This is Delaine’s first book.  She lives in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. She is Grandma Dee to nineteen grandkids, six great-grands with one on the way. Her two remaining sisters live in Sioux Falls and Des Moines, Iowa. A graduate of Augustana College (now University), she also attended classes at the North American Baptist Seminary, now known as the Sioux Falls Seminary. Delaine is an Addiction Ministry Advocate at Our Savior’s Lutheran Church, past Chairperson of Faith Communities Facing Addiction; a Speaker, a Certified Spiritual Director and a Certified Grief Instructor. Contact her on Face Book at Delaine Shay-Author and delaineshayauthor@gmail.com.  

Contact at Delaine delaineshayauthor@gmail.com

Also available locally in Sioux Falls. SD at

• Barnes & Noble

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Or online at delaineshayauthor.com